Fire, Fire, Cha Cha Cha….

Where the hell is Arlington, Virginia, and does it have sidewalks?

Is that one of those places where people go without shoes, or is that West Virginia? East or West, does it make a difference?

The Hey Abbott Award this week for the biggest dope goes to Ed Plaugher, the Fire Chief of the Arlington Virginia Fire Department.

Ed (did he used to be Edward before he became a celeb?) came all the way North to stick his foot in his mouth in New York City. He testified at the very political 911-What Happened-Who-Did-it-Inquisition that just took place in the Big Apple.

It was chaired by Bob Kerrey, a former Senator from the State of Nebraska, where they grow cattle or something. Kerrey, by the way, is now the President of the New School in New York City.

The New School is one of those institutions of “higher education” where if your kid came home and told you he/she was going there, you would kill yourself. You couldn’t find a faculty or student body more anti-American in any place in the nation.

The only reason Ed is getting the award this week instead of Bob is because Ed is the bigger idiot.

Would you believe that Ed sat in the witness chair and had the audacity to talk about what was wrong with the New York City Fire Department on 911 and what is wrong with it now?

The Arlington Virginia Fire Department has 302 employees, all of whom are not firefighters. Goodness sake, New York City lost more than that on a single day.

Ed, just shut up and go back to your rinky dinky town. Go back to your firehouse square dancing and go spend your time fiddling with your genuine fireman’s mustache that is probably compensation for your inadequacies.

In the old days, the fire engines were pulled by horses and as a result there was lots of dung around.

Well, the horses are gone from the Arlington Fire Department, but they still have Ed to make a great deal of shit.