adrian benepe, the new york city parks commissioner, needs to look into a mirror and see that he is not really a king.  although rumor has it that he does have a crown and each night he runs around his bedroom screaming, “i am the king of the parks.”


he is the winner of this week’s “hey abbott award.’


adrian is a parks commissioner who never met a two-bit private entertainment act that he didn’t want to put into central park. 


just this summer alone, we know of at least 50 performances that are being permitted to present their questionable talents.  they are groups that you would not pay money to go to, and that is why they love to perform in the park with no admission charge.  they can then brag about attendance. 


“free” always gets good attendance.


anti-republican presidential convention (august 30 through sept 2nd) demonstrators who want to use central park as a venue have been told by adrian to take hike.  that is it.  end of story.  adrian has now decided that a legitimate group can not use the central park he thinks that he owns.


much to the unhappiness of new yorkers, the new york city parks department already has a reputation for letting private groups such as disney hold events in central park. 


to make matters even worse, when the parks department permits these commercial activities, only the promoters decide who they want to let in to the area where the event is happening.


adrian is also responsible for the following activities in central park:


**the constant harassment of the horse cab drivers who are abused by the park police.


**up market people who drink wine not being given summons while beer drinkers always are.  (there is a regulation that says that there should be no alcohol consumption in the park.


**the financial arrangements for the vendors who sell souvenirs and food in the park is one of the great mysteries of the universe.  the idea was to have individuals do it, not make contracts with corporations to do it, who use mainly illegal immigrants as their employees.


**giving summonses to children as young as three who are making a pee against a tree under the supervision of a grandmother.  first of all, a kid’s pee is like water, and second of all where is grandma to take the kid if there are no bathrooms?


we would be the first to say that the anti republican presidential convention people are a bunch of jerks who will just tie up traffic and litter the park.  but tough, that is america and we are stuck with a little something called “freedom of speech.”


adrian benepe got his job as parks commissioner because he is a political hack.  how dare he decide who can use or not use our central park?


thomas jefferson must be twirling in his grave over this little mussolini type parks commissioner.


come to think of it, if adrian could made a buck on it, he would have let them bury jefferson in central park.